Sarah McLaughlan’s music mirrors some of the experiences I share in my book.

Ideas come through me from a source I honestly cannot identify.

Ideas come through me from a source I honestly cannot identify.

We need to work together to stop it. The ripple effect goes far beyond the original wound.

We need to work together to stop it. The ripple effect goes far beyond the original wound.

Sad, gloomy days before the days of hope emerged.

Sad, gloomy days before the days of hope emerged.

By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy

In my book I share how I eventually recovered the memories and began to heal the root cause. Consequently, I am committed to heightening awareness about child and sexual abuse for people of any age. We cannot heal…until we feel and release the pain and shame. That is when the light of hope begins to emerge.

After years of inner dialog about whether to share my healing and spiritual journey with others I finally did it. My biggest stumbling block was a nagging uncertainty about why anyone would be interested in my path when it is akin to so many wounded warriors out there. 

My hubs David remained my encourager as did clients utilizing our personal development services through our company Fresh Beginnings.  During private life coaching sessions and facilitating groups I shared with appropriate disclosure about the daunting challenges I transformed and how becoming whole opened avenues for me to share my experiences with others. David’s encouragement about the validity of the book eventually dissolved my resistance to writing the memoir.

The muses continued to  nudge me to take a leap of faith and just do it as well.  In September 2004 clarity broke through and I announced to my hubs David that I was ready to do it and that I did.

After 7 long months of intense writing I finished the first draft…35 chapters and 500 pages later my book I’ve Been There…A Testimony of Hope emerged.   

The larger message of my story is one of hope and that is why I chose to share it. In one of my meditations I was given a significant message. Whenever anyone is tested and masters the challenges they have a moral obligation to offer the benefit of their experiences to others who may be facing similar struggles. It was, and still is the reason for making my life “an open book for others to see, possibly judge, use or reject.

When I discovered Sarah McLaughlin’s body of work the lyrics and haunting melodic compositions resonated with me then and now. The link to her playlist are visual mirrors for different chapters in my life. The song   Perfect Girl is something I tried to be in my youth. As with most young people I desperately sought love and acceptance from my parents but within their own wounded-ness they were incapable of ever meeting me at that point of need. Through my personal and spiritual growth I now accept know that perfection is an illusion and whenever we try to be something other than we are we innately are it creates an alienation of Self.

The lyrics to the Gloomy Sunday video remind us that humanity shares some basic common needs–to be loved, accepted, respected and understood. When those aspects are missing we strive for unrealistic ideals of perfection and fail.

For more information about my book check out the website at

For information about our personal development company Fresh Beginnings the website link is:

 Lyrics:  Am I faithful, am I strong, am I good enough to belong  in your reverie a perfect girl  Your vision of romance is cruel and all along I played the fool  all you expectations bury me  Chorus:  Don’t worry you will find the answer if you let it go  give yourself some time to falter  But don’t forgo knowing that you’re loved no matter what  and everything will come around in time  I own my insecurities I try to own my destiny  That I can make or break it if I choose  But you take my words and twist them ’round  ’til I’m the one who brings you down  Make me feel like I’m the one to blame for all of this.

 Chorus  You need everybody with you on your side  Know that I am here for you but I hope in time  You’ll find yourself alright alone  You’ll find yourself with open arms  You’ll find yourself you’ll find yourself in time  The riot in my heart decideded to keep me open and alive  I have to take myself away from you  ’cause I can’t compete I can’t deny there’s nothing that I didn’t try. How did I go wrong in loving you.


Self-Health Choices for Healthy, Dynamic Living

By Coralie Darsey-Malloy

Everyone wants independent choice…
whatever that may cost…and wherever it may lead.

–Fyodor Dostroyevsky

When I began my quest for health and wholeness in the mid-eighties much of what has gained mainstream acceptance was considered ‘fringe new age thinking” and viewed with suspicion or flatly rejected. When David and I met in 1990 I made his head spin with my concern about the free radicals and the high glucose factor in his diet. I rambled on about that and the importance of low fat, moderate carbohydrate diet and using food combining as a way to lose weight.

There were many that just patted me on the head and admitted that it all sounded a little too weird for them at the time. Now these ideas have been accepted and utilized by many because they are endorsed by researchers. The growing emphasis on healthy living has created less polarity within formal medicine and complimentary healing systems.

This trend has already started towards more sensitive patient care with a multitude of options that were not available even twenty years ago. The emerging changes in preventative health and wellness techniques can and does compliment today’s precision diagnostic services. Inevitably, professional patronizing, and obscure terminology will give way to cooperative educational approaches, and client-orientated therapies. Future medicine like future world politics, will increasingly acknowledge choice making and empowerment of the individual.

Even before these changes are fully implemented, there is much we can all do to optimize our health. Eating less and eating well are basic premises of preventative self- care. Avoiding the known health hazards of smoking, alcohol, fat, sugar, caffeine, salt and processed foods are another commonsense approach. Breakthroughs in health care reveal that many of the diseases and ailments being treated by symptom relief alone can be readily overcome with social and lifestyle changes.

A long, healthy life is a reasonable expectation under most conditions, and self-reliant health care involves one’s authority over their right to choose what they determine is best for them. As the paradigm of whole-person healing continues to evolve, the knowledge it brings not only liberates it unites people as well. Today personal fitness and healing practices once considered outlandish are gaining mainstream credibility—because they work. Large corporations are underwriting relaxation and stress management courses to reduce employee absenteeism. Insurance companies offer financial incentives to non-smokers and aerobic dancers. Healing in the 21st century will witness the final convergence of science, psychology, body, mind and spirit.

As the science, medicine, the biology of emotion and thought, humor, health and healing attitudes are promoted as a plausible option to symptom relief, drug therapy, invasive procedures there will be more inclination to become well informed before choosing any course of treatment. New attitudes and modalities provide much hope in the form of simple, yet powerful whole-person self-care systems.

They are often equally or more effective than prescriptions and are cost effective, encourage self-responsibility, do no harm, educational, fun and provide positive outcomes! So the good news is…there truly are many ways to achieve health, wholeness and abundant living for those willing to explore options and think beyond symptom relief with prescription drugs rather than assessing core issuers and complimentary healing systems.

Some of the systems we value in our “self-health” care include Traditional Chinese Medicine, Aromatherapy Essential Oils, Chiropractic Care, Supplementation, Energy Work, Massage and of course regular exercise, meditation and keeping life in balance.

We always remind our clients that good health is not a right but a responsibility. When we decide to live long and live strong and take the appropriate steps to do so healthy, dynamic living into advanced years truly is possible.