Sarah McLaughlan’s music mirrors some of the experiences I share in my book.

Ideas come through me from a source I honestly cannot identify.

Ideas come through me from a source I honestly cannot identify.

We need to work together to stop it. The ripple effect goes far beyond the original wound.

We need to work together to stop it. The ripple effect goes far beyond the original wound.

Sad, gloomy days before the days of hope emerged.

Sad, gloomy days before the days of hope emerged.

By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy

In my book I share how I eventually recovered the memories and began to heal the root cause. Consequently, I am committed to heightening awareness about child and sexual abuse for people of any age. We cannot heal…until we feel and release the pain and shame. That is when the light of hope begins to emerge.

After years of inner dialog about whether to share my healing and spiritual journey with others I finally did it. My biggest stumbling block was a nagging uncertainty about why anyone would be interested in my path when it is akin to so many wounded warriors out there. 

My hubs David remained my encourager as did clients utilizing our personal development services through our company Fresh Beginnings.  During private life coaching sessions and facilitating groups I shared with appropriate disclosure about the daunting challenges I transformed and how becoming whole opened avenues for me to share my experiences with others. David’s encouragement about the validity of the book eventually dissolved my resistance to writing the memoir.

The muses continued to  nudge me to take a leap of faith and just do it as well.  In September 2004 clarity broke through and I announced to my hubs David that I was ready to do it and that I did.

After 7 long months of intense writing I finished the first draft…35 chapters and 500 pages later my book I’ve Been There…A Testimony of Hope emerged.   

The larger message of my story is one of hope and that is why I chose to share it. In one of my meditations I was given a significant message. Whenever anyone is tested and masters the challenges they have a moral obligation to offer the benefit of their experiences to others who may be facing similar struggles. It was, and still is the reason for making my life “an open book for others to see, possibly judge, use or reject.

When I discovered Sarah McLaughlin’s body of work the lyrics and haunting melodic compositions resonated with me then and now. The link to her playlist are visual mirrors for different chapters in my life. The song   Perfect Girl is something I tried to be in my youth. As with most young people I desperately sought love and acceptance from my parents but within their own wounded-ness they were incapable of ever meeting me at that point of need. Through my personal and spiritual growth I now accept know that perfection is an illusion and whenever we try to be something other than we are we innately are it creates an alienation of Self.

The lyrics to the Gloomy Sunday video remind us that humanity shares some basic common needs–to be loved, accepted, respected and understood. When those aspects are missing we strive for unrealistic ideals of perfection and fail.

For more information about my book check out the website at

For information about our personal development company Fresh Beginnings the website link is:

 Lyrics:  Am I faithful, am I strong, am I good enough to belong  in your reverie a perfect girl  Your vision of romance is cruel and all along I played the fool  all you expectations bury me  Chorus:  Don’t worry you will find the answer if you let it go  give yourself some time to falter  But don’t forgo knowing that you’re loved no matter what  and everything will come around in time  I own my insecurities I try to own my destiny  That I can make or break it if I choose  But you take my words and twist them ’round  ’til I’m the one who brings you down  Make me feel like I’m the one to blame for all of this.

 Chorus  You need everybody with you on your side  Know that I am here for you but I hope in time  You’ll find yourself alright alone  You’ll find yourself with open arms  You’ll find yourself you’ll find yourself in time  The riot in my heart decideded to keep me open and alive  I have to take myself away from you  ’cause I can’t compete I can’t deny there’s nothing that I didn’t try. How did I go wrong in loving you.