The Inner Pilot Light as a Foundation for Whole Health


By Coralie Darsey-Malloy & David Malloy

Our work in the personal development field involves a whole person approach to healthy, dynamic living. We encourage the people we work to assess their life in a wheel with different spokes where their energy glows out from their core essence. It is difficult to have a good quality of life when the body, mind and spirit are out of balance. When any aspect of the self is creating discomfort, it interferes with the ability to fulfill one’s life purpose or to channel energy in creatively satisfying endeavors.

However, after many years of working in the health and wellness field with clients from all occupations we have opportunities to witness how people live their lives through the choices they make. The relationship between vibrant, radiant whole health and degrees of sickness and disease is immense and complicated.There is a constant interplay between the mental, emotional, spiritual, physical and energetic fields and they come together when we tune into the Inner Pilot Light within our core essence and assess what aspects of life are and are not working and take health-promoting steps to align them. In our view, the authentic self assists us in bringing the inner landscape and outer aspects of life into harmony.


The Inner Pilot Light is the either core essence of who we are and the foundation we build upon or breakdown through misuse and lack of mindful choice making. Without it, people eventually discover that they are not getting where they want to be because they are attempting to create a firm foundation on shifting sands.

For more information about the healthy, dynamic living services, we provide check the Fresh Beginnings Personal Development Website at


FBF green



Balanced, Innovative Perspectives


By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy

We have been working together in the media as television talk show hosts and producers, writing, producing and presenting seminars, public speaking, free-lancing and reporting for local newspapers since 1990. When we started in the field one of our mentors was an old time reporter and he always emphasized the importance of balanced fact finding without personal opinion in the articles. That approach has stayed with us and we carry it through in everything we write, produce and present to the public. In our view much of what is trending in the media and politics today is filled with more commentary than balanced, innovative reporting. We created this blog and other related links so we could gather and present perspectives in innovative, ways.

Clients and followers often ask how to determine what balanced perspectives actually are. Here are some of the definitions and guidelines we strive for in gathering information to share with others are outlined below. When speaking of balanced the image that often comes to mind is the scale of justice. Ideally, it does not tip too much in either direction and we keep the scale of justice in mind when sourcing out information. Our goal is to present information in a balanced way that encourages critical thinking skills so clients and readers make informed choices.


The scale of justice symbolizes justice and the ability and power to make informed decisions. Sharing balanced innovative perspectives requires a presentation of ideas within state of equilibrium or equipoise; equality in amount, weight, value, or importance. We are active participants in social media and frequently bear witness to those who either silently or openly resist any opinion other than their own. The loud clunk and the sound of minds closing reveals   they are not interested in the facts because their minds are made up. Whenever we observe polarization in conversational styles, it is clear they are heavily invested in their current mindset. So much so that they are unable to respect what anyone else thinks. Whether it is conspiracy theorists, fear-mongers, religious zealots, gun fanatics or a whole host of other dogmatic ideologies for many out

Words hold great power and as communicators and motivators it is always enjoyable when ideas are expressed in balanced ways that lead to pleasing harmonious proportions where clauses, phrases, ideas, etc. have parallel constructions for rhetorical effect. When presenting ideas we find a rightness of conviction without a respect for differing viewpoints is not respectful and at times the self-important and authorities ring is arrogant and irritating to those looking for middle ground through critical analysis. Comparatively speaking when there is openness to opposing views or equal-opportunity presentations through factual data content it has a more harmonious feel when listening and reading.

Whenever ideas are presented in balanced, innovative ways it allows the readership to  sift and sort through the information and commentary in ways that   comparess ideas in relative importance and value. There is always more than one angle to any story and keeping things in a healthy balance involves the ability to think outside the box of conditioned thinking and keep things in a state of equilibrium. From our perception it is not so much about winning the argument as it is getting to the truth through critical thinking and fact checking. It is something we strive for in all we are and do.

As life coaches, motivational speakers and seminar leaders we share a commimtent to   fosterog a more universal sense of community by honouring differences, encouraging people to open their hearts and minds and sharingtheir knowledge, culture, beliefs and perspectives through respectful dialog. For more information about who we are and what we do check out the website for our personal development company Fresh Beginnings: and a book Coralie wrote about her spiritual journey to health and wholeness that became the foundation for Fresh Beginnings to build upon.



A Whole Person Approach to Healing Fibromyalgia

By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy

Of one thing I am certain…

 The body

 is not the measure of healing

 peace is the measure.

–George Melton

The specialist pokes and prods then inquires, “Does this hurt? How about here — and here?”

My response,  “Ouch! It hurts all over.”

He sits down then says, “That fits with the syndrome all right. Get dressed and I’ll be right back.”

These points are how professionals make the initial fibromyalgia diagnosis.

These points are how professionals make the initial fibromyalgia diagnosis.

After the examination, the rheumatologist told me I had a chronic muscle disorder, fibromyalgia syndrome (FMS), which is as common as rheumatoid arthritis and can be even more painful.

The term fibromyalgia comes from fibro, for fibrous tissues such as tendons and ligaments: my, indicating muscle: and algia, meaning pain. Symptoms include chronic fatigue, varying degrees of anxiety, depression, irritable bowel, vision problems, tension and migraine headaches. Fibromyalgia may also involve difficulty concentrating, light and environmental sensitivities, irritability, mood swings and insomnia. It is to the “hurt-all-over” syndrome because of the widespread body pain and stiffness.

The doctor went on to explain that there is no cure but she offered me a course of treatment including muscle relaxants, low-dose antidepressants, anti-inflammatory drugs, pain pills, sleeping pills and physiotherapy. I said I needed time to consider my options. I left with a firm commitment to finding a more natural way than taking all these drugs.

Taking Charge of my Recovery

In my work as a life coach, I encouraged others to look for causes rather than just make symptoms with drugs. Looking at my health challenge from this perspective made it difficult for me to believe that fibromyalgia is manageable but not curable. Members of the group seemed to define themselves by their fibromyalgia. As watch and listen participants seem resigned to a life of chronic pain and debilitating fatigue that worsens with age. Whenever a health problem comes into my life, I take a proactive approach. After leaving, one of the meetings I chose not to return and decided to use tried and tried self-health methods and whole person healing. I severed my association with them and carried on with an even stronger resolve.


After the appointment, I reject that idea, go home and start researching what some call “fibro” for short. Initially, I joined a fibromyalgia support group and gathered some useful information, but left after a short time. Most of the participants were more interested in managing rather than curing their disorder and that did not work for me. I live with the idea that more often than not the “incurable” aspect is the umbrella doctors’ use when they do not have other options.

Individuals with fibromyalgia frequently have a type-A personality. They are perfectionists, neat, compulsive, organized, time-oriented, tense and precise. I frequently overdid things and found myself feeling discouraged when flare-ups occurred. I world experience painfully tight muscles, lack of mobility, chronic insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome, mood swings and extreme fatigue. However, I knew that one’s attitude toward pain makes a difference. So rather than mask symptoms or lapse into feeling sorry for myself, I decided to allow this condition to become my teacher.

Lessons in Balanced Living

David and I work together gathering information about the disorder and making proactive health plans for a full recovery. The fact that the physicians refer to it as a “syndrome” gave us hope. I go back to my yoga practice and the stretches and deep breathing is theraputic. Prayer, meditation and journaling provides insight and spiritual clarity. As an incest survivor, I knew childhood problems were likely contributing to my disorder.

David provides useful feedback about the cause and effect of my behavior and how overdoing it creates a flare up. Through time, we both concluded that fibromyalgia is as much a pacing disorder as a physical one. This realization was a major breakthrough. Through his eyes I could see my lifelong pattern of overdoing and overreaching.


Over the years my growth process assisted us in creating a self-health model called the Inner Dynamics System. It is based on the principle that the outer aspects of life mirror the inner landscape. Awareness, accountability and action are key aspects of empowered living and it was time tomake self-accountable choices for my health and well-being.

My next spoke in my healing wheel came with the energetic healing art of Reiki. It is powerful, non-invasive healing art that facilitates the energy flow to body tissues and promotes body/mind/spiritual/emotional baance.  The sessions created a dramatic difference that I  become a practitioner and used the techniques daily.

Reiki is a natural healing art that assists the body in releasing blocks and opening channels for the body to heal.

Reiki is a natural healing art that assists the body in releasing blocks and opening channels for the body to heal.

To support my body between the self-treatments  I use magnetic therapy. Magnets open capillaries and increases blood supply to weak and inflamed areas. Long hot Epsom Salt soaks were soothing to sore muscles and ligaments.

How Magnets Work

Regulating Sleep

As a sexual abuse survivor I had alifelong pattern of insomnia. The inability to sleep soundly  exacerbated  pain and stiffness. A naturopath suggested a combination of Bach Flower Rescue Remedy,  herbal relaxant, lavender essential oil on my feet and sleep-enhancing tea.  I began reciting the prayer of serentity to asist me in releasing the buzzing brain syndrome. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Training my over-active brain to still points was challening.  quiet has been quite a challenge.  During the early stages of the diagnosis, I was learning some invaluable lessons in the importance of balace and pacing.

Developing the ability to relax into deep restful sleep reduced th symptoms dramatically and energy levels increased. Through time I was strong enough to cross-train and it includes  light free-weights for strengthening ands and freeform dance.

Using a variety of methods for healthy living and whole person healing.

Using a variety of methods for healthy living and whole person healing.

Supplements and Diet

When I discovered that antioxidants help fibromyalgia, I increased the amount of vitamin E and C and included grape seed extract as well. A combination of ginkgo balboa and hawthorn helped clear the fibro-fog and improved my concentration. The herbs eyebright and bilberry improved my vision. MSN, glucosamine (GLH) and chondroitin have all but eliminated pain and inflammation, and improved the strength and flexibility of my muscles and ligaments.

The Naturopath changed my diet and I had to eliminate  nightshade vegetables (tomatoes, eggplant, potatoes and peppers). They contain levels of glutamates can create inflammation for those who have a sensitivity,  Some foods increase the number of parasites and yeast in the system and he put me on an eating plan without white bread and sugar.

I discovered the cleansing properties of liquid chlorophyll, acidophilus and sage tea with clove and added them to my regime.My diet was clean and I did not injest  hydrolyzed protein, mono sodium glutamate (MSG) or aspartame.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after a car accident in 1991. Within a year I was living pain-free and the balanced living methods have supported my body ever since. Return visits to the doctor and physiotherapists indicate that the trigger points are not inflamed and I live symptom free. As long as I respect my body, pace, stay warm I remain healthy and strong. The diagnosis and required lifestyle changes were daunting at times.

However, the exprience gave more than it took because I learned how to live within my means in every level. Had it not happened I would probably be living my Type A-hard driving life without the the respect for my body that I know have.  I continue to believe that in the end health is a persona responsibility and not a right. In many cases healing has little to do with medicine and as the Naturpath wisely pointed out medical model cannot heal us. We need to create the environment for the body to heal and with that approach it often does.

I learned this and so much more. I share the lessons, training in my book  entitled it I Have Been There…A Testimony of Hope (  David and I share a commitment to assisting others in their quest for radiant health and empowered living.  Check out the website for our personal development company Fresh Beginnings website at

With my personal experiences with fibromyalgia I refused to accept that it is incurable. This previously published article shares my road to full recovery.

With my personal experiences with fibromyalgia I refused to accept that it is incurable. This previously published article shares my road to full recovery.

This article was originally published in my column Perspectives on Healthy Living in the spring 2008 (Volume 15—Issue 1) of The Aquarian, ( I received permission from  The Aquarian Magazine to share my published articles.

Healthy, Balanced Ways to Manage Stress



By Coralie Darsey-Malloy


Holidays and special events often bring unresolves issues to the surface. During these times it is  important to approach them with moderation, balance and modesty rather than media hype and marketing ploys.  Over extensions of time, energy and money combined with lack of sleep, disruption of normal routines, frequently lead to an emotional hangovers after any big event.

   1.  Maintain balance and moderation in all things.      Nothing throws the system off like sleep deprivation or over-loading the body with too much food.   After a big turkey, dinner most can attest to the ‘sleepy’ feelings that come from protein overload and the calming effects of the amino acid tryptophan present in turkey.  Being mindful of alcohol and food consumption can also prevent the overloaded feeling that builds up throughout the season and leads to emotional lows when the celebrations are over.

  2.  Make time for fitness and fresh air and sunshine.   Many people have a difficult time fitting daily exercise in under normal conditions.  During hectic times like Christmas, exercise is the last thing that comes to mind.  My message is a different one.  January is coming and the longer you stay away from your various routines,   the harder it will be to get back to where you were.   One way to alleviate stress is to start a new tradition with family and friends that includes physical movement in social settings. Try going for a walk, having a snowball fight or frolicking outside for a while.   It is a guaranteed way to avoid feeling stressed.  

  3.  If you want to reduce the chances of a “blah or low time” try not to be hooked on ‘artificial highs.’  Anticipate great events by having realistic expectations, forethought and enough time ability to plan.  Meaningful gifts do not have to over-extend the budget. It may sound trite it is the thought and effort that goes into gifts that is the true value. Something baked or created with love and affection and exchanged with nice card and/or heartfelt expressions of affection often mean far more to the recipient than an extravagant gift based on material value alone.  These types of gifts usually do not break the budget or lead to financial regret when credit card bills start to roll in after the artificial high and media hype of the holidays are over.

  4.  Be prepared for the re-surfacing of buried emotions.  Family events often trigger buried emotions and can add to emotional lows.  The challenge for each of us is to be courageous and committed to reaching a point where we are able to accept people for who they are … whether we agree with them or not.    If a family member’s behavior is particularly upsetting, set boundaries.   Sometimes conflicts are not worth open confrontation or the timing may be inappropriate.  Instead go elsewhere, take a few deep breaths and either shelve or ignore the person and comments. If there is a need to clear the air it is preferable to contact the person after the holidays and discuss the issue under less stressful circumstances.  Ignoring poor behavior is an effective way of disempowering it.

5. Participate.   There are blessings in giving that do not hold the same feeling as always being on the receiving end. Balance is the key in every area of life. Giving can take many forms other than just the material.  Giving can include visiting and offering support to a less fortunate family, volunteering at a food bank or soup kitchen, canvassing for a favorite charity or cause or visiting a retirement home or hospital.  Any of these ‘gifts’ could really make someone else’s day.

 6. Give yourself the gift of ‘self-health.’  The gift of self-health begins with your own actions.  Make a plan to eat less, (especially junk food, sugar, coffee and alcohol.)  Keep water intake high (two to three liters per day) get adequate amounts of sleep, fresh air, sunshine and exercise.  Humour is a great stress reliever so rent some funny movies and laugh, laugh and laugh some more. Laughter releases endorphins that create a natural high and exercises the tummy muscles in an ‘internal jog.’  If relationships need mending, forgiveness is a good place to start.  If we maintain an ‘attitude of gratitude’ for large and small blessings it focuses the heart and mind in positive flows of energy.

What greater gift can you receive than to function at a high level and to flourish physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually?  Good health, a sense of well-being, friends, loved ones and a purposeful life create a feeling of abundance without monetary measure. Implementing all or part of the above suggestions will help maintain balance and prevent emotions from getting too high…or low.  However, when all is said and done the  best way to create an emotional high that will keep on as long as we practice it is to focus more on what we can do for others and less on what is not working in our own lives.  The benefits will be yours to enjoy.



Self-Health Choices for Healthy, Dynamic Living

By Coralie Darsey-Malloy

Everyone wants independent choice…
whatever that may cost…and wherever it may lead.

–Fyodor Dostroyevsky

When I began my quest for health and wholeness in the mid-eighties much of what has gained mainstream acceptance was considered ‘fringe new age thinking” and viewed with suspicion or flatly rejected. When David and I met in 1990 I made his head spin with my concern about the free radicals and the high glucose factor in his diet. I rambled on about that and the importance of low fat, moderate carbohydrate diet and using food combining as a way to lose weight.

There were many that just patted me on the head and admitted that it all sounded a little too weird for them at the time. Now these ideas have been accepted and utilized by many because they are endorsed by researchers. The growing emphasis on healthy living has created less polarity within formal medicine and complimentary healing systems.

This trend has already started towards more sensitive patient care with a multitude of options that were not available even twenty years ago. The emerging changes in preventative health and wellness techniques can and does compliment today’s precision diagnostic services. Inevitably, professional patronizing, and obscure terminology will give way to cooperative educational approaches, and client-orientated therapies. Future medicine like future world politics, will increasingly acknowledge choice making and empowerment of the individual.

Even before these changes are fully implemented, there is much we can all do to optimize our health. Eating less and eating well are basic premises of preventative self- care. Avoiding the known health hazards of smoking, alcohol, fat, sugar, caffeine, salt and processed foods are another commonsense approach. Breakthroughs in health care reveal that many of the diseases and ailments being treated by symptom relief alone can be readily overcome with social and lifestyle changes.

A long, healthy life is a reasonable expectation under most conditions, and self-reliant health care involves one’s authority over their right to choose what they determine is best for them. As the paradigm of whole-person healing continues to evolve, the knowledge it brings not only liberates it unites people as well. Today personal fitness and healing practices once considered outlandish are gaining mainstream credibility—because they work. Large corporations are underwriting relaxation and stress management courses to reduce employee absenteeism. Insurance companies offer financial incentives to non-smokers and aerobic dancers. Healing in the 21st century will witness the final convergence of science, psychology, body, mind and spirit.

As the science, medicine, the biology of emotion and thought, humor, health and healing attitudes are promoted as a plausible option to symptom relief, drug therapy, invasive procedures there will be more inclination to become well informed before choosing any course of treatment. New attitudes and modalities provide much hope in the form of simple, yet powerful whole-person self-care systems.

They are often equally or more effective than prescriptions and are cost effective, encourage self-responsibility, do no harm, educational, fun and provide positive outcomes! So the good news is…there truly are many ways to achieve health, wholeness and abundant living for those willing to explore options and think beyond symptom relief with prescription drugs rather than assessing core issuers and complimentary healing systems.

Some of the systems we value in our “self-health” care include Traditional Chinese Medicine, Aromatherapy Essential Oils, Chiropractic Care, Supplementation, Energy Work, Massage and of course regular exercise, meditation and keeping life in balance.

We always remind our clients that good health is not a right but a responsibility. When we decide to live long and live strong and take the appropriate steps to do so healthy, dynamic living into advanced years truly is possible.