This article was previously published in the Aquarian newspaper and I have permission to use in through my own sources.
By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy
In youth we learn;
In age, we understand.
— Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach
Retirement is a foreign concept because neither David nor I plan to retire. We know that it is only “work” when the enjoyment in the task is not there. The rewards we have in the work we do as life coaches, communicators, seminar leaders and public speakers is so rewarding there is no desire to retire. Over the years, we have presented course material to people in advanced years and they are a great example of how anyone can remain youthful as they age. We wrote and produced a variety of seminars for Creative Retirement Manitoba (CRM) for a number of years. Pariticpants there had a “youthiness’ energy and drive that was ageless and timeless. Interactions with them inspired the name of our course on “youthing versus aging.” These “youthers” had an impact on how we are choosing intend to live as we march through time.
One of the outstanding examples was a group of seniors in their late sixties and early seventies who decided to take a course in Tai Chi. Initially felt intimidated at the thought of moving their stiff, sore bodies in new ways. However, as daunting as initial stages were, they valiantly carried on. I recall members of that core group sharing how they were amazed that seven years later they were in better shape than when they began. They continue to provide inspiration for new members by getting on buses in the middle of winter and traveling to rural areas to teach others remain strong and healthy.
Another inspiring woman was a stylish woman gal we assumed was in her late fifties or early sixties. She was physically active, an avid reader with an inquiring mind. She was studying quantum physics–and made heads turn with her flair and style. As a fellow hat lover, I appreciate her collection of hats that she often combined with and pant boots with tasteful studs on her denim outfits. She did not give the impression of an older woman trying to look young, but rather she looked woman who had the confidence to choose clothes that made a statement.
It was a surprise to discover her true age during one of our classes. She was saying how indignant about a heel spur her doctor found. While expressing her frustration to participants in the class about how it was slowing her down, one of her friends responded by saying, “Well what do you expect at YOUR age of eighty-six.” In a calm voice her reply was, “Part of why I am shocked and upset is because, unlike many of you, I refuse to accept that aches, pains and even bone spurs have to become a reality within my aging process. I intend to have the damn thing removed and keep on being active until I decide to check out of here. So there! It is that attitude that has a bearing on youthful aging versus “getting old.”
Throughout our shared path David and I know for sure that time does not have to be toxic. We strive to maintain balance and moderation in all things and we’re stronger than in our youth. Granted, we are fortunate to come from a good gene pool and that according to research that helps. Having said that, I look back to my youth and earlier experiences and I marvel that my body is in as good a shape as it is. being were a more worthwhile goal than being thin. As I began putting my energy into healing my inner world and making peace with my body, I noticed that concerns with aging and outer appearances faded in significance. Through time, I began to see that who we are on the inside is far more important than any outer form. Once I wrapped my brain around that one, I was finally free to be me in ways that were not possible when I was younger. The choose not to buy into the bias of ageism and stereotypical thinking there is less emphasis on appearance and greater focus on how the body functions over outer appearances. Winkles and less than toned skin pale in comparison to illness and death.
There is another perspective on youthing versus aging a self-responsible and self-reliant approach to healthy living. Eating whole, natural foods, drinking purified water, supplementation, balancing personal and professional commitments, having time to rest, re-charge laughter, prayer and meditation are co-factors that support health and well-being. David and I strive to connect with like-minded others that enhance rather than drain energies. Trustworthy friends assist us in staying grounded through the difficulties in life. Whenever anyone makes healing, strength, balance and resiliency their primary goals, they thrive. They do not allow age to define who they are, how they live and even dress. Age brings wisdom and the confidence to be whom we are whether others approve or not. The way David and I feel about aging is that it is the best thing that happens to any of us when we accept it as just a number not a death sentence. How many times we have been around the sun does not have to determine whether we will achieve many of our unexplored potentials…only we decide that. I remember my Mom querying her peers as she wound down her life at Riverview Health Centre, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” As I contemplate the answer to that question, I have made a firm commitment not to let my years according to the calendar become more important than the age we feel.
The quote below is an eloquent summation by an active centenarian in Health News and Review, “So-called age is simply the deterioration of enthusiasm, faith to live, and the will to progress.”
Enthusiasm, faith and will power can be a prescription for longevity if we are willing to implement them. How about you? Are your fifties going to be fabulous, sixties sensational? Seventies spectacular? Eighties expansive? I think you get the idea. State your intent then make passions happen at any age and stage of life and each decade can be exciting journey rights until the last breath.
By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy
David and I have been using pure essential oils as a compliment to our other healthy living products. They are a cost efficient way to support the mind and body and provide clean alternatives to beauty products and household cleaners. Here are 12 quick tip pointers about a few of the benefits they provides.
Essential oils are very concentrated and many are used with carrier oils. It is important to research any company and their products to make sure they are pure oils and not combined with toxic additives. There are many reputable companies with long standing reputations for quality oils but it is up to the consumer to source them out and ask questions before using them. It is advisable to apply small test patches to eliminate allergic reactions.
1. Alleviates stress and anxiety. Bring peace and balance to your emotions without negative side effects.
2. Shield your body from bacteria, viruses, fungi, and parasites. Studies find that essential oils are effective against MRSA, the methicillin resistant staphylococcus aureus superbug. This bacterium has mutated so effectively that it is resistant to most antibiotics, including penicillin.
3. Experience natural pain relief when gently massaged into sore and tired muscles.
4. Potent against Inflammation. Helps alleviate inflammation that causes pain.
5. Support your body’s Immune System naturally
6. Ward off Insomnia. Lavender out performs common drugs in promoting sleep, enhancing relaxation, and decreasing anxiety, according to the 1988 International Journal of Aromatherapy. Apply a few drops topically and sprinkle on a pillowcase to promote restful sleep.
7. Rejuvenate your skin. Essential oils have been used for thousands of years for restoring and improving damaged skin. Beneficial for clogged pores, eczema, acne, dry skin, freckles and stretch marks.
8. Soothe Digestive Disorders. Rub essential oils onto the abdominal area to relieve digestive upsets. Ingest a few drops of therapeutic grade essential oil in water to provide relief for heartburn, gas, indigestion, diarrhea and irritable bowel disease.
9. Support Your Bones and Muscles. 50% of our body weight is muscles and our skeleton has 206 bones. When stressed or overworked, apply to the affected area for strong skeletal and muscular support.
10. Superior Dental and Oral Care. Research has shown that oral bacteria can cause heart disease. More bacteria live on the back of the tongue than any other part of the body, and proper cleaning and flossing can do much more than protect the teeth. Essential oils in Young Living mouthwash and toothpaste help kill microbes that cause tooth decay.
11. Increase Your Mental Clarity. Exciting clinical studies are proving that the inhalation of peppermint oil daily increases students test scores by 28%. Keep your edge in the workplace by breathing Peppermint during work.
12. Provide affordable safe alternatives to household cleaners. Replace chemical cleaners with the powerful antimicrobial activities of essential oils
By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy
Everyone wants independent choice…
whatever that may cost…and wherever it may lead.
When I began my quest for health and wholeness in the mid-eighties some did not consider valid. Much of it fell under the umbrella of ‘fringe new age thinking” and mainstream society was suspicious and refused to consider it. When David and I met in 1990 I made his head spin with my concern about the free radicals and the high glucose factor in his diet. I rambled on about that and the importance of low fat, moderate carbohydrate diet and using food combining as a way to lose weight. He has a knack for researching balanced perspectives and once he understood the validity in some of it, he modified his thinking. With the growing interest in health, wellness and whole person healing mindsets are changing. Mind-body health is merging with traditional medicine and complimentary healing systems. Many physicians are open to them within patient care.
Trends in medicine are moving towards sensitive patient care with a multitude of options that were not available even twenty years ago. The emerging changes in preventative health and wellness techniques can and does compliment today’s precision diagnostic services. Inevitably, professional patronizing, and obscure terminology will give way to cooperative educational approaches, and client-orientated therapies. Future medicine like future world politics, will increasingly acknowledge choice making and empowerment of the individual.
Within the changing dynamics in health care there is much we can all do to optimize our own and well-being. Simple changes such as eating cleaner food in smaller portions, managing stress and maintaining fitness levels keep the wheel of life in balance. People are awakening to the importance of avoiding harsh chemicals in our food and cleaning products. It is now common knowledge that smoking, too much alcohol, fats, sugar, salt and processed food breakdown rather than build up the body. Breakthroughs in health care reveal that many of the diseases and ailments are easier to manage through positive lifestyle changes over symptom relief and prescription drugs.
Living a long, healthy and productive life are reasonable expectations through self-reliant care and responsibility for one’s health. It is important for each of us to research information and maintain authority for the path we choose to take whether some in the medical model agree or not. There have been numerous times in the past where physicians and surgeons were pushing for surgery on David’s neck, our knees, exploratory biopsies and a myriad of other tests we did not feel we needed. Instead, we chose to support our bodies through physiotherapy, acupuncture, strengthening, stretching and massage and we are both going strong many years later without the need for surgical intervention. There is a cautionary note in this and again, we emphasize the importance of making informed choices about the options and possible outcome with any chose modality.
As communicators, we always encourage clients to discuss their health challenge with reliable, professional individuals in both the medical and complimentary healing models before proceeding and weigh the pros and cons of any system. Health is not a right…it is a responsibility. The growing acceptance in whole-person healing continues to evolve and its cooperative approach liberates and unites. Today personal fitness and healing practices once considered outlandish are gaining mainstream credibility—because they work. Large corporations are underwriting relaxation and stress management courses to reduce employee absenteeism. Insurance companies offer financial incentives to non-smokers and aerobic dancers. Healing in the 21st century will witness the final convergence of science and psychology, body and soul.
As science, medicine, biology of emotion and thought, humor, health and healing attitudes merge, they are now plausible co-factors in any healing system. Growing numbers are awakening to the reality that symptom relief, drug therapy, invasive procedures are the last step over the first as they once were. New attitudes and modalities provide hope in the form of simple, yet powerful whole-person self-care systems. They are often equally or more effective than prescriptions and are cost effective, encourage self-responsibility, do no harm, educational, fun and provide positive outcomes! With the exploration into mind-body health, there are alternative ways to achieve health, wholeness and abundant living for those willing to explore options and think outside the box.
By Coralie Darsey-Malloy & David Malloy
Our work in the personal development field involves a whole person approach to healthy, dynamic living. We encourage the people we work to assess their life in a wheel with different spokes where their energy glows out from their core essence. It is difficult to have a good quality of life when the body, mind and spirit are out of balance. When any aspect of the self is creating discomfort, it interferes with the ability to fulfill one’s life purpose or to channel energy in creatively satisfying endeavors.
However, after many years of working in the health and wellness field with clients from all occupations we have opportunities to witness how people live their lives through the choices they make. The relationship between vibrant, radiant whole health and degrees of sickness and disease is immense and complicated.There is a constant interplay between the mental, emotional, spiritual, physical and energetic fields and they come together when we tune into the Inner Pilot Light within our core essence and assess what aspects of life are and are not working and take health-promoting steps to align them. In our view, the authentic self assists us in bringing the inner landscape and outer aspects of life into harmony.
The Inner Pilot Light is the either core essence of who we are and the foundation we build upon or breakdown through misuse and lack of mindful choice making. Without it, people eventually discover that they are not getting where they want to be because they are attempting to create a firm foundation on shifting sands.
For more information about the healthy, dynamic living services, we provide check the Fresh Beginnings Personal Development Website at http://www.fresh-beginnings.com
By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy
We have been working together in the media as television talk show hosts and producers, writing, producing and presenting seminars, public speaking, free-lancing and reporting for local newspapers since 1990. When we started in the field one of our mentors was an old time reporter and he always emphasized the importance of balanced fact finding without personal opinion in the articles. That approach has stayed with us and we carry it through in everything we write, produce and present to the public. In our view much of what is trending in the media and politics today is filled with more commentary than balanced, innovative reporting. We created this blog and other related links so we could gather and present perspectives in innovative, ways.
Clients and followers often ask how to determine what balanced perspectives actually are. Here are some of the definitions and guidelines we strive for in gathering information to share with others are outlined below. When speaking of balanced the image that often comes to mind is the scale of justice. Ideally, it does not tip too much in either direction and we keep the scale of justice in mind when sourcing out information. Our goal is to present information in a balanced way that encourages critical thinking skills so clients and readers make informed choices.
The scale of justice symbolizes justice and the ability and power to make informed decisions. Sharing balanced innovative perspectives requires a presentation of ideas within state of equilibrium or equipoise; equality in amount, weight, value, or importance. We are active participants in social media and frequently bear witness to those who either silently or openly resist any opinion other than their own. The loud clunk and the sound of minds closing reveals they are not interested in the facts because their minds are made up. Whenever we observe polarization in conversational styles, it is clear they are heavily invested in their current mindset. So much so that they are unable to respect what anyone else thinks. Whether it is conspiracy theorists, fear-mongers, religious zealots, gun fanatics or a whole host of other dogmatic ideologies for many out
Words hold great power and as communicators and motivators it is always enjoyable when ideas are expressed in balanced ways that lead to pleasing harmonious proportions where clauses, phrases, ideas, etc. have parallel constructions for rhetorical effect. When presenting ideas we find a rightness of conviction without a respect for differing viewpoints is not respectful and at times the self-important and authorities ring is arrogant and irritating to those looking for middle ground through critical analysis. Comparatively speaking when there is openness to opposing views or equal-opportunity presentations through factual data content it has a more harmonious feel when listening and reading.
Whenever ideas are presented in balanced, innovative ways it allows the readership to sift and sort through the information and commentary in ways that comparess ideas in relative importance and value. There is always more than one angle to any story and keeping things in a healthy balance involves the ability to think outside the box of conditioned thinking and keep things in a state of equilibrium. From our perception it is not so much about winning the argument as it is getting to the truth through critical thinking and fact checking. It is something we strive for in all we are and do.
As life coaches, motivational speakers and seminar leaders we share a commimtent to fosterog a more universal sense of community by honouring differences, encouraging people to open their hearts and minds and sharingtheir knowledge, culture, beliefs and perspectives through respectful dialog. For more information about who we are and what we do check out the website for our personal development company Fresh Beginnings: www.fresh-beginnings.com and a book Coralie wrote about her spiritual journey to health and wholeness that became the foundation for Fresh Beginnings to build upon. www.ibtbook.com
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous’? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”. -Marianne Williamson
For thousands of years, the world has been ruled by patriarchal societies. These masculine rulers have created wars, power struggles, destruction, pollution, fear, pain, separation and famine. They have shown little or no respect for feminine wisdom or our Mother Earth. The patriarchal organizations of the world have repressed most knowledge of women’s roles in world history.
It is time for the pendulum to swing back towards the Divine Feminine and rest comfortably in the middle. To become whole, we need both the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine energies equally in our lives.It is without a doubt that our religion and culture have made a huge impact on how women perceive their worth. As a child, I remember hearing Bible stories about women and feeling their shame. The words “unclean”, “slave” and “concubine” were heard a lot. In the book of Genesis, woman is blamed for the downfall of man.
In Exodus, daughters were sold as maidservants. In Deuteronomy, virgins who were raped were to be stoned to death with their rapist. There is a long list of limitations, exploitations, punishments and repressions for women in the Old Testament , which I feel initially set the stage for what came forth in societal roles of women. In many ways the mindset is still present today. For example, a woman who has a few sexual partners is called a slut, while a man is a stud.
In ancient societies, it has been theorized that women were worshipped as goddesses, honored and held in high esteem. The Minoan religion was heavily involved with iconography and the depiction of women as Goddesses to worship was a supposedly common occurrence. These depictions include wall paintings, seals, stone-carvings, and sculptures. The art often combined the Goddesses and Gods with scenes of nature, as within the Minoan culture, the two were intrinsically linked.
It is theorized that the old European culture stressed the female as divine, largely based on the number of carvings of the female shape found from this era. Some point to the relative lack of equivalent male statues as evidence of a Goddess culture.
This “old European” culture lasted for tens of thousands of years in what is now Europe. They generally lived in peace; there is a notable lack of defensive fortifications around their hamlets. As evidenced by their funeral customs, males and females appear to have had equal status. Many historians and archaeologists believe that their society was matrilineal; children took their mothers’ names. Life was based on lunar (not solar) calendar and time was experienced as a repetitive cycle, not linearly as we think of it.
Many academics believe that the suppression of Goddess worship in Western Europe occurred a few thousand years BCE, when the Indo-Europeans invaded Europe from the East. They brought with them some of the “refinements” of modern civilization: the horse, war, belief in male Gods, exploitation of nature, knowledge of the male role in procreation, etc. Goddess worship was gradually combined with worship of male Gods to produce a variety of Pagan polytheistic religions, among the Greeks, Romans, Celts, etc. Author Leonard Shlain offers a fascinating alternative explanation. He proposed that the invention of writing rewired the human brain, with profound consequences for culture. Making remarkable connections across a wide range of subjects including brain function, anthropology, history, and religion.
Shlain argues that literacy reinforced the brain’s linear, abstract, predominantly masculine left hemisphere at the expense of the holistic, iconic feminine right one. This shift upset the balance between men and women initiating the disappearance of goddesses, the abhorrence of images and in literacy’s early stages, the decline of women’s political status. Patriarchy and misogyny followed.
In some religions, a sacred feminine archetype can occupy a very central place in prayer and worship. In Hinduism, Sacred Feminine or Shaktism is one of the three major Hindu denominations of worship along with Vishnu and Shiva. In Tibetan Buddhism, the highest achievement any person can achieve is to become like the “great” female Buddhas (e.g. Arya Tara) who are depicted as being supreme protectors, fearless and filled with compassion for all beings. So, as you can see, the strengths of women are as equally important as those of men. Our long history of programming has created a perception that women are the weaker of the two species when in fact, we are equally strong, just different. Together we form the yin and yang.
Now, more than ever, we see the shift of the feminine energies taking on a stronger role in our world. This is something that has to take place in order to create balance and harmony. We all hold the power within ourselves to create this balance, but first we must understand and appreciate our worth. Unless we recognize our own worth and until we respect and honor the very essence of our being, no one else will see our value. We must awaken that warrior within, the one who has always existed there.