–By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy
Whenever I observe magazines and entertainment programs showing images of women with altered images of their appearance, size and shape it reminds me to keep it real. The average woman cannot morph into those skinny images. It is unhealthy to lock the mindset into limiting self-perceptions. Young and old alike often develop distortions that lead to eating disorders and faulty perceptions about body image.
In my youth, I took a modeling course and pursued a career in the fashion industry. The constant exposure to unrealistic expectations about beauty led to discontent about the height, size and shape of my body. I am five feet two inches and in an attempt to compensate for what I perceived as an inadequate height I tried to compensate by starving my body to a low weight.
It took years for me to change the old conditioning. Thankfully, those challenges are far behind me. These days I place greater emphasis on remaining healthy, strong and fit over skinniness. In the process of re-framing perceptions about the importance of size and shape, my husband and business partner, David Malloy and I developed the Body Dynamics System~Your Body is Your Buddy. Our model provides the tools to transform limiting beliefs about the scale, weight and size. It also assists clients in loving and accepting the bodies they have healthy weight management program that assists clients in reaching a place of acceptance about the body they have. The Body Dynamics System provides practical tools that assist clients from the ‘inside out’ over outwardly driven fixations and image management. Clients using the Body Dynamics System stop chasing after an image that may not be right for them and move into a place of self-acceptance and confidence in the body they have.
For more information about the Body Dynamics System for healthy weight management check the page link on the Fresh Beginnings Personal Development Website for this course. http://www.fresh-beginnings.com/Body%20Dynamics.html
I was able to overcome my unhealthy and destructive coping mechanism and overcome two eating disorders by looking at the root causations. Within my pathway to discovery I came to the realization that the size, shape and appearance of the body has little to do with the essence of the person inside.
During my healing journey to health and wholeness I learned how to love and accept the body I was in. It is the starting point we all need to have. Accepting it does not translate to liking where we are but it is the needed start point to facilitate change. From that point I shifted my priorities and chose to focus on being healthy rather than pressuring myself to lose weight or measure my worth by the scale. That ephiphany was a milestone for me and set me on my current path of healthy, dynamic living.
This approach is the foundation of the Body Dynamics System. This format is the one we present in our private and group life coaching sessions. Once clients understand and accept that the outer is a mirror to their inner landscape they begin to take their power back. With consistency and perseverence they create positive, life affirming changes that last. Loving and accepting the body frees up a tremendous amount of energy.
Societal changes reveal a rapidly expanding population of baby-boomers. The fixation on image-management shows within a culture that pursues youth with some articial approaches and plastic surgery is one of the highest paying specialties in medicine. If one is clear about their reasons for having work done then it usually acheives the desired goal However, if the expectation is not realistic it can lead to further discontent.
With our healthy weight management program, we offer ways for clients to focus on the enhancement of the bodies they have. As they change and re-frame their expectations, it is easier to release the need to force the body to fit the unrealistic ideas within media hype and advertising ideals. In my view, life is a journey of learning to love and accept ourselves. Once that is in place, it is easier to extend it to others.
Once we achieve that level of self-acceptance the mind is free from encumbering limited perceptions of worth based on appearance. After choosing to cease adhering to the limiting dictates of the media I develope my own “mojo.” Now I choose to wear what feels good on any given day. I am not a fashionesta and proud of it. Women who develop their own style are the ones I respect. Jumping on bandwagons to follow the crowd is of no interest to me.
Being true to oneself is liberating! The same principles apply to the needs of my body over know anything anyone else says. It has a voice with wisdom. When we listen and hear the body guides us to what it need to heal and restore balance. At this age and stage of life, I enjoy being fit. Exercise is not a chore…but a feel-good experience. So much so that I have another Blog that presents ways to remain fit and fabulous as we age.The link is: http://feelingfitfabandageless.blogspot.ca/2012/12/perspectives-on-life-extension-and_11.html
Although the aging process continues we can remain strong and resiliant through balanced, healthy living. At one point, I did not want to accept the lines and wrinkles on my face and considered other options. I view them and my gray hair as reminders that I am feeling younger than my age and that is all that matters. With a strong, fit and fabulous body that supports me along the road of life, the external appearances are secondary to health and vitality from within.
Without our physical bodies, we are in another realm. After everything, I put my body through in my youth I am grateful that I am strong and healthy. Although David and I are not “young” in actual age, we are successfully “youthing as we age.” Our focus intentions involve the love, acceptabce and respect for the bodies we have. Consequently, we are thriving rather than surviving as we move into the advancing years. In our personal and professional experience we know for sure that age is just a number. One’s real age is determined by the quality of life they have, activity levels and attitude.
In our private and group facilitations, we consistently remind clients that good health is not a right. Rather, a responsibility requires mindfulness and balance within body, mind and spirit. I am always interested in how others feel about the bodies they have. Care to share your perceptions about yours? Are you locked into the dieting mentality? Do you dislike parts of your body or do you love and accept your uniqueness? Have you made peace with the body you have? For now, I embrace and love my body temple…how about you?